To Be Or Not To Be

Some people who opt to try stand up comedy have a goal of being a professional stand-up comic. I cannot make promises about who will be able achieve such a lofty goal.

I can help people establish ways of working and build a solid foundation from which to begin exploring the possibility of such a goal.

The business chooses you, not the other way around. You cannot demand or pressure your way into the field. You can only work on your craft and when the choosers think you are ready for an opportunity, they might take a chance and give you an opportunity. No matter how funny you think you are, no matter how funny people tell you that you are, it is not up to anyone

except for the people who are in the position to make such decisions.

These people often feel pressured by newcomers and people who have worked at their craft for many years. People think that they have “earned” a shot and that it is their turn. It is only fair that they be the next in line for a break.

There is no point system. Fairness has no bearing in show business. You get a shot when the powers that-be say you do. Pressuring, begging and bribing will only cause the powers to detest you. You will become a thorn in their side and they may even decide to never give you a break simply because you have been a pain-in-the-ass. I have seen this happen more than once.

When they pass on a pain-in-the-ass up to the next level in the hierarchy,

they risk losing their position and power. You can become a threat instead of an asset. It is not fair and never will be. Work on your craft and be available and easy to be around and when and if you are ready, you will get your shots.

Our educational system is upside down, according to Sir Ken Robinson, author, expert on creativity, with a PHD from London University

(see wikipedia).

The creative arts are the least stressed, the least appreciated disciplines in our educational system’s curriculum. However, creative thinking will be the world’s most sought-after asset in the future. Thinking from a comedic perspective is discouraged in our educational system as well. My dad used to ask me “You know why there are no schools for donkeys? Because nobody likes a smartass.” Of course this in true unless you are being paid to be a wise ass.

No matter what your field, creative thinking of all kinds, expand the mind and allow you come up with useful original ideas. You do not have to want to be a professional standup comic to find the skills of the craft useful.

A very small percentage of the people you will see in amateur comedy shows will ever be able to make a living wage at comedy. I believe that the lives of most of those who dabble in the craft are forever enhanced. It is no sin to have standup comedy as a hobby. It is wonderful hobby.

Many of the comics who frequent the amateur stage covet their stage time so much that they will tell you that you have no business being there. If you don’t belong on the stage then neither do they. It is an open forum. It is usually these types of people who think they own the stage. Most of them will never reach the professional level they aspire to in any field. This kind of small thinking is deplorable and those who perpetuate it are to be pitied.

It is up to you to decide at which level you will participate in the craft of standup comedy. You have to chose where it falls in your priorities. You must decide how much time you will dedicate to writing, performing and watching live comedy. It is all up to you. No one will benefit from participating in the craft of standup comedy at any level unless they are having fun at doing it.

If it is not enjoyable to you, find something to do that satisfies that yearning your have for creative activity. You should have a major priority to have fun and enjoy life.

Many people dream and aspire to be professional standup comedians. I have seen people who have these dreams but have no experience and have no way of knowing how to go about achieving this goal. I have been fortunate enough to watch a few of them peruse and accomplish this goal.

I have also seen several become professional writers for television situation

comedies and for other performers. If you have what it takes: the skills, talent, luck and tenacity; these goals can be obtainable. I have learned the writer’s model in my approach to creating material. The comic model for writing is very slow and tedious.

It is only by luck that a standup comic has the leisure of performing the same

material night-after-night, with changes occurring at a snails pace at best. Most standup comics work by inspiration and most writers work by perspiration. If you only write when inspired you will have large gaps in productivity. If you write by perspiration that means you take it seriously and write several hours a week. It is your job. You wake up in the morning and clock in.

A stand up comic who has been working for a few years, will often do some of their writing while on stage. Someone says something and they react. After they come off stage they write it down so they will remember it, then it becomes part of their act. If you are on stage three to six hours a week, this becomes a viable possibility especially if you are a person who can think on their feet.

I have known headliners who perform the same exact act, word-for-word,

for decades. Some get so proficient at their old act that they do it

drunk or stoned on drugs and never miss a beat. This is a bad habit. Do you have a drink before going to work at your day job? If you do then you have a drinking problem.

It takes these people a couple of decades before they burn out or kill

themselves with their habits, but all the while they are making decent

livings. When they get on stage they are just going to work just as an

accountant or clerk would do.

Mr. Jay Leno once told me that when he was traveling fifty weeks a

year, playing mostly college campuses, that his act might change fifteen

percent over the course of three years. For this reason, he had a goal of

playing any town no more than once every three years. Mr. Leno is a prolific

writer but he knows to stick to what has worked for over-and-over again for

years. I do know a very small set of comics who will come to town once a

year and can do an entire new set every time. This is very rare indeed. These

comics are more writers than comics in my opinion.

Developing a forty-five minute act, which is what most comedy club headliner comics are contracted to perform, takes several years and a lot of

work to create that much material. Using the writer’s model, Gene Perret has said that when he write one hundred jokes, if he can sell fifteen of them, he considers his time well spent. That is fifteen percent. I tell newcomers to aim for ten percent.

But how many people are willing to go on stage and tell ten jokes and get a

laugh from one of them? It is not fun to be on stage telling jokes and not be getting laughs. But that is what it takes. You must have the will, guts and tenacity to dig through the rocks and sand long enough to find enough nuggets with to create something substantial.

I have known many comedy nightclub managers and most of them

become burned out on comedy after a year or so. The rare ones that

stay in the business will seldom sit in the club and watch the performers.

There is too much other work to be done. Running a business, especially a

nightclub where the money producing time is compressed into a few short

hours every day, the manager has much to accomplish and must be focused on getting the behind the scenes work done. Most often the managers are in their offices where they cannot see or hear the performer but can hear the audience. I have seen a manager stand up in his office and ask out loud, “What the hell is going on?” This happens when he can hear no laughter for any extended amount of time.

By comedy club standards, thirty seconds is a very long time for an audience to sit and not laugh. Laughter and booze pay the bills. Jokes are the primary source that enables the nightclub to sell drinks, their main way of revenue.